So, off we went, just us girls. And it was nearing the end of the visit when Dr. Feghali dropped a bomb on me. He told me we need to consider having Reese's ears surgically corrected. She has ears that just don't look like normal ears. But it's something that I absolutely love about her. I think they add to her personality. The look of her ears is something that was genetically passed down from Ryan's family and a few people have ears that look similar. Ryan has been crushed since the day she was born, even crying about it the first time he saw her ears. Like there was anything he could do about it. I guess he feels like he did it to her, but I don't believe that at all. Again, I love her ears. I think she's beautiful and I think they are really cute!
So, what's the problem? Well, Dr. Feghali suggested it so nonchalantly and matter-of-factly that it just blew me away. And when would she be having this surgery? Well, before next summer was his suggestion. Really? He seems to be under the assumption that kids are cruel and she will be teased about them. While he's probably right, I just don't know what to do.
My biggest problem with the whole thing is simple. If we get the surgery done, are we telling her that we think there's something wrong with the way she looks? That's not a message I want to be sending her. Also, I don't want her to have to be put under anesthesia. I'm a mom. My main concerns are for her health and safety. I want her heart to be healthy as well, but at what cost? What are we really telling her? That if she doesn't have this surgery that we don't care about her enough to protect her from bullies? Will she be mad at us later in life if we don't do this now? Or, if we go through with it, are we telling her she looks funny and it needed to be fixed? I guess it's like children with cleft palates that have to be surgically reconstructed. But not really, actually. This is purely cosmetic. We'd be having it done so she wouldn't be teased. If she had a huge nose, would we get her a nose job? NO!
So, what do I do? One part of me is saying, "Just get it done. Quit being such a baby about it. She'll be fine and she'd probably want it done if she was old enough to decide." Then the other part of me says, "Don't do it. That baby looks to you for self-esteem. You don't want her to have a complex about her looks and that's exactly what you'll be doing to her if you do it."Agh! HELP!
2 comments:
Oh goodness! This made me cry. I honestly have never noticed her ears. I guess because her hair covers them. I don't know what the answer for this is. She is beautiful and perfect!
Perhaps I shouldn't just blurt out my initial reaction, but I will. Like Ashley, I have never noticed Miss Reese's ears. All I have ever seen is a beautiful, smart and precicious little girl. Did this doctor give any medical reason for this surgery?? If not, I would change doctors so quickly it would make your head spin!! I can't imagine doing cosmetic surgery on a 4 year old child. When Reese is older if she should decide to have this surgery, so be it. We all have body parts that are less than ideal. Yet who we really are is the sum of all of our parts--the perfect ones and the not so perfect ones.
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