Straight A Sista!

Well, for the first time since I went back to school the first time (Fall '04), I made straight A's this semester! (PS: Other than that semester, this is the only semester that I've made straight A's. Didn't happen once when I was at OU, no matter how hard I tried. And I've been very close since I've been at NSU, but no cigar...til now!) I wasn't expecting it either. I thought for sure that I'd make a B in my Psychology class, but I did so well on my big paper and my final exam in that class that I was able to pull it off!! I doubt that I'll do this again next semester, but you just never know.

I am, however, extremely proud of myself. It's not easy being a stay-at-home mom trying to go back to school. My days are always full. It doesn't matter what day of the week it is either. I'm either busy with the kids, or homework, or a combination of the two. I'm blessed with the support system that I have around me, because without them, none of it would be possible. So, I owe my straight A's in large part to them. Thank you Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Dad, Ryan, and the kiddos. And a big thank you to all my other family and friends that support me, pray for me, encourage me, and motivate me to do my very best. I really appreciate it more than I could ever express.

I love you guys!!

Just something I wrote last night....

In the silent darkness
When I long for healing,
Who is there to hold me
And give me that feeling?

When all around me fails
And everyone has gone,
Who holds my hand
And tells me to hold on?

If light turns to grey
And disappointment appears,
Who is by my side
To listen to all my fears?

You hold me in the night
When the tears never end.
I survive because of you
With a heart on the mend.

You make life simple
When it gets too rough.
You are my strength
When I can't be tough.

You take away my fears
And dry my weeping eyes.
You love me for who I am
And brighten my darkest skies.

I love you!

Friends...my other family

While I love my family dearly, I am really enjoying the time I've gotten to spend with my friends this year. I have started to develop some really good friendships these past, oh, 8 or 9 months and I am feeling so blessed. Now, that does not mean that my other friends mean any less to me, because I still love them very very much. I think it's just that I spend so much more time with these girls.

My best friend, Meg, and I have not seen each other in way too long. We still talk through facebook and occasional calls, when we can squeeze them in. Both of us are entirely way too busy, it seems, to get our schedules coordinated. She is never far from my mind, though. I miss her face! I miss all the fun things we used to do together: dancing in our cars at red lights, telling jokes that only we would laugh at, eating her famously delicious spaghetti (mmmmm), I could really go on and on. She is and will always be my best friend. We practically share a birthday (only 42 hrs. difference!), so we're joined for life in my book. She has been there for me in some really rough times, and I have been there for her as well. When things get dark and there seems to be no one who will understand, we always manage to find each other. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Carissa, sweet Carissa. She is absolutely amazing! I met Carissa technically my first semester at NSU, although we didn't really talk to each other much until my second semester. We've been in a class with each other EVERY semester that I have been enrolled there. I just now realized that. That's quite impressive, considering I only take 2 English classes per semester. She is quiet and reserved, but she can be so hilarious! I think it is even funnier because it is so unexpected. She can be pretty ornery, too! I am just so glad that God has blessed me by putting her into my life. She motivates me to do my very best at school, she listens when I'm having a really bad day, she makes me laugh when I really need it (even if she doesn't realize she's doing it), and she genuinely cares about me (or at least that's how she makes me feel). She is one amazing friend and even though she's graduating in a week (!!) I know that we'll still have our semi-weekly Girl's Night. Girl's Night has been my saving grace this semester. :-)

My dear Joy. I don't know. It's like we have known each other forever, but have really only gotten to know each other since about January. She is hilarious! She is sarcastic, which I absolutely love, but she also can be the sweetest person in the world. When I'm with her, I know that whatever I say will be kept in confidence if needed. I laugh more with her than I have in a really long time. She knows what to say to cheer me up when I'm feeling extra blue. I feel like I can tell her anything and know that I'm not going to be judged for whatever it is. I'm not perfect, and I don't have to be that with her. She lets me just be me. I don't have a lot of girlfriends that I feel like I can be 100% open with, but I feel that with her. We may not have had the same life experiences, but we share similar personalities which makes it easier to communicate without feeling like we're competing or putting on a show. I'm looking forward to going to Oregon this summer because Joy gets to go with me. It will make the trip so much fun having someone like her there to brighten my day! She's simply stunning! I admire her for her gusto and her willingness to not let anything get her down.

I look forward to getting to know Cory much better. From the few times that I've been able to hang out with her, I've had such an incredible time. She's funny and sweet and I can see us having a lifelong friendship as well. Thanks, Cory, for accepting me into your life as well!!

Thank you girls for being my friends! You'll never know how much it has meant to me to be able to have you all in my life. I feel like we are joined for life. No matter where any of us goes, we'll always have each other. I really believe that.

Fuming...

What is it about my personality that screams, "Please aggravate me!!"??? I can't, for the life of me, figure that one out. I get so frustrated that the people who know me best seem to take pleasure in teasing me, or making fun of me, or saying outright hurtful things to me. And a lot of times, these people are family. Why is that?!? Is there a part of me that welcomes that? Do I walk around with a big fat neon sign that asks for it?

Because I'm really tired of it! I'm sick of people picking and prodding. And they don't know when to stop. Or maybe they do and they just don't care. I've left many a family gathering in tears. But I wouldn't dare show those tears to them because then it would be even worse. It makes me not want to be around these people anymore. They're my family, though. The worst part of it all is that I really and truly love these people. I desire close relationships with every single one of them. Yet I've become this sort of "punching bag" that everyone seems to need to just pounce on the minute I walk through the door.

It hurts my heart when they act like this. Nothing I do can make it stop. I've tried acting like it didn't bother me. All that did was bring it on even worse, until they could see the reaction they wanted. I've tried fighting back. But that gets me nowhere and leaves me feeling horrible for stooping to their levels. It's a no-win situation. And I don't even really want to win. I just don't want to be torn down like that anymore.

I hate that saying, "If you can't take it, don't dish it out." I don't even dish it out anymore. I haven't for a long time. But they just won't stop. They know who they are, and if they ever read this, I'm sure I'd never hear the end of it again. I don't even know why I'm writing this. I'm probably just wanting to vent my frustrations in the hopes that I may get some clarity through it all. I'm almost to the point where I'm going to stop going to family functions. When I am constantly ridiculed or chastised for things that have no bearing in the real world or things that should be praised, all I want to do is tell them off and never see them again. Who knows what will come from this? I'm sure I'll just roll over and take it like I always do. I see no other course of action to be taken.

I just want it to be known that I'm sick of it. I cry every time I leave a family function or gathering. And I want it to stop.

There. That's all.

My family -- What a cast of characters!

Easter weekend was quite fun for us in the McAlister household. We had to do our egg hunt a day early since it was going to rain on Easter. So we all went over to Meemaw and Papa's house (otherwise known as my parents' house) and had a good ole time. My brother and his family were there (minus Paxton). We watched "I Am Legend" before and after the egg hunt. I've never seen that movie before, and I had to miss parts of it because Mom and I were the ones hiding the eggs. But it's a pretty decent movie.

My kids get all hopped up on sugar whenever Easter, Christmas, and Halloween roll around because we don't let them have a lot of candy any other time. I'd rather their teeth not rot out before they've had the chance to grow their second set. Well, in their sugar high, my kids seem to act extremely different. Alex will just bounce off the wall like any normal kid would. But Reesey seems to get bossier and bossier in her sugar-high state. It's pretty obnoxious. She was even bossing Grandpa Brown around when he was trying to draw her pictures. First she tells him he HAS to draw her a picture, then she tells him it's not right so he changes it, then that one's not right either. She takes the final picture and wads it up and throws it in the trash. Mind you, this is after she's already bossed my dad and Ryan into drawing her pictures and done the exact same thing. She didn't like either of those pictures and threw them in the trash as well. Yeah.

But we did have a good time. We were with family and nothing else mattered. It was nice. We went to church Sunday morning with my parents. My brother's family was there also...all of them this time. The service was nice and the kids were good during their stay in the sanctuary. Afterwards we went to Fuddrucker's in South Tulsa for lunch with the entire family. And I have to say that eating with my nephew, Cooper, is an experience all in itself. He is DISGUSTING! He eats weird combinations of foods. He talks about bathroom functions. He has this sick sense of humor that involves bodily functions and weird scenarios. It's gross. I don't enjoy eating meals with him right now. Really. I love him to death, but it's really unpleasant. Thankfully he's only 8 and this will subside?

My hubby is a different story altogether. He yells at video games when he's losing and thinks the system is "cheating" him. It's ridiculous. He never backs down from a stupid situation either. See him here wearing my niece, Jordan's hat while we were at my parents' house the other night. Lovely.

So there's my family. They're strange, funny, crazy, and bossy. They are also very loving and generous and kind. We're one big happy, weird, silly family. And I love it!

Blessed

With the Recession that we're in, it puts into perspective what we have to be thankful for in our lives. I just found out that a dear friend of mine was laid off yesterday. No warning, no two weeks to find a job. She will get severance pay for two weeks, but she's only got a short amount of time to find a job.

They're starting to make some cutbacks at the Post Office as well. It doesn't seem to affect Ryan directly...yet. But you never know. For now, they're getting rid of managers. And how strange is it that just a few months ago, like less than 6 months, we thought Ryan should go into management to give us some security financially. If he had done that, where would we be? Probably in the poor house or out on the streets. And I'm not kidding. We are a single income family. We can't afford for him to lose his job. And it could happen, just like THAT!

I'm so glad that we listened to God during that time. We didn't pray for God to help Ryan get into the management program at work. We prayed that if this was the door He wanted us to walk through, then He would put the desire into Ryan's heart. And that desire was never there. Ryan took that as his sign that this wasn't something he should do. And I'm so glad he listened.

About a year and a half ago, my family went through some really trying times. I'm not going to get into that here, mostly because it's not the kind of thing I wanna discuss on a blog. But I will say that I am so blessed that things didn't turn out like they could have. Things are not perfect. And they'll never be the way they were again. But they're okay right now. And I'm okay with that. I'd rather have things be just "okay" than them be in the pooper like they were. Life is amazing sometimes. A year and a half ago, our nation wasn't in a Recession yet. But it felt like my family was going through our own sort of Recession. It was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, or the silver lining in any situation. But we got through it. And I think we're all a lot stronger because of it.

I love my family dearly. They are my whole life. And I'm blessed that God allows me to have the time I do with them. I think I cherish it even more now knowing that it can all be taken away in the blink of an eye.

Snow in March?

Well, we all knew it was coming, but I don't think we thought it'd be like this. We had a lot of thunderstorms last night and our backyard was a lake, as usual. Today, it was supposed to snow, and the weathermen kept telling us that we'd get a lot of it, but you know we don't ever believe them. Apparently they were exactly right! Here are some pictures from about 10 am.

Well, I hadn't looked outside in quite awhile, so about an hour and a half later, I was on the phone with my mom. Our power had been flickering off and on and I was worried that we'd lose power and be in big trouble. So I called to see if we could hang out with them if it came to that. My mom told me that the roads were pretty bad and that it wouldn't be a good idea to drive out in it, but if we needed to and they still had power that we were more than welcome to come. So, I thought I'd look outside again and this is what I saw:

So, apparently it doesn't matter if it's Spring, Summer, Fall, or Winter. We're just gonna get whatever the heck we get here in Oklahoma. Nice. Whoda thunk?