Graduation

It has taken me 11 years to get here, but it has been so worth it. Eleven years to graduate college? Yep! I've been to three different schools, but I've finally found my place and my passion. I couldn't be more excited about this!

What changed for me over the past eleven years? For starters...

1. I moved away from home. Home was my safety net. I am extremely close to my parents and to move two and a half hours away from them felt like I was moving across the world. I was fortunate to be close enough to home that I could drive home on the weekends, which I did my first year at OU.

2. I became an adult. I had my first ever birthday away from home while I was at OU and that was very lonely and very exciting all at the same time. I hadn't been there long enough to make friends yet, but I knew that great things were about to come my way. I turned 21 while I was there also. I'm not a drinker, so that birthday was more of a "coming of age" thing for me. I was officially, legally an adult.

3. I joined a new church. It was probably one of the hardest decisions I had to make while "away from home." I debated for months and months. My heart broke as I felt I was leaving my old "family" behind and abandoning them. What I didn't realize was that I was gaining a whole new "family," one that would help mold the person I am today.

4. I met Ryan. What a momentous experience! I knew that God would bring my "one" into my life in His timing. I'm just grateful and quite proud of myself for actually listening when God spoke to me about Ryan. He walked into my life one night in January of 2002 and I was forever changed.

5. I dropped out of school at OU. I became so overwhelmed with what was going on. I was battling depression. Ryan came into my life, and we began dating at a time that was very confusing for me. I didn't really, truly know what I wanted out of life. I knew that he was the one I was supposed to go on this journey with, but I didn't know where the journey would take us. So, the easiest (and probably dumbest) solution for me was to drop out of school. I didn't even think about changing my major, considering that was the source of my confusion.

6. I got pregnant. Way too early. I was not ready to be a mom yet. I felt like Ryan and I were still just getting to know each other. I was acting reckless again, like I'd done just a few years earlier. But the difference this time was that I had a man who was going to stand by my side. I lost some really important people in my life during that time. It was one of the scariest experiences I'd ever been through and I felt like I was doing it all by myself. I did have Ryan, I'll give you that. But again, we were still just getting to know each other. My parents were a hundred miles away. What was I doing? How was I going to get through this?

7. I got married. We did it backwards, I guess you could say. But it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I could not have married a better man. Ryan has helped me grow into the woman I am today. I was still just a kid when we met. I am lucky that God showed me that when you mess up, if you ask for forgiveness, you will be forgiven. And I have been blessed. I have a wonderful husband who takes care of me and loves me no matter what comes in our way.

8. I had a baby. Two. My pregnancy with Alex was a whole new experience for me. I was nervous all the time. I was anxious about every little thing. And then, when I was thirteen weeks along in my pregnancy, I thought I was losing him. It was really scary, but we prayed and prayed and God brought us through it. I have never loved someone so much as I did Alex that day he was born. Or, that's what I thought until Miss Reese came along. How can you love someone so much and give them your WHOLE heart, and then are able to do the same thing all over again with another person? I'll never be able to explain it, but I know it to be true.

9. We moved. Ryan and I have lived in, let's see now...6 different places since we got married. SIX?!? We never lived anywhere for more than eight months until we got to Owasso. We lived in our apartment for 2 years and we've now been in our house for a little over 2 years. And we will move again in a few years, but we're hoping that will be our last. It will be when we actually buy a house. So, I'm hoping we pick a winner and stick with it. :-)

10. I went back to school. Somewhere along the way I did take a few classes at TCC, but I officially went back to school in August of 2007. I was nervous about it. I thought to myself, "What if it's just like the last time? What if I don't really belong here? What if I'm not cut out for college?" But I wanted to give it a try. And I'm so glad that I did. It took me longer to finish because I only went part-time, but I actually am finishing ahead of where I thought I would. The one disappointing thing about all this is that I did so well while at NSU that I could have been graduating with honors. Why am I not? Because of all my "soul searching" that I did my last few semesters at OU. They really cost me. And I have no one to blame but myself. But I will choose to look at it this way: I did it. I went back and finished and got my Bachelor's degree. And I did it for me. I didn't do this because I thought I owed it to my parents. I didn't do it because I wanted to get a better job. I did it because I knew I had the potential and the capability and I wanted my degree. I deserve it.

I have been through and done a lot in the past eleven years. I am sure there is a lot that I am leaving out, but these things seem like the most important. I have learned who I can really depend on when the chips are down. I know how to make $40 stretch into two weeks worth of groceries. I know that my kids will always know that their Momma loves them even if she doesn't feel like she shows it enough. And I have learned to take things slowly and carefully because if I rush, I usually end up disappointing myself and others.

Have I mentioned how proud I am of myself for finishing? I DID IT!!!!