June is finally here! Why on earth am I so excited that June is here? I HATE hot weather. I would much rather spend my days in Colorado in the middle of winter. That's just the kind of girl I am. But the reason I'm so excited that June is officially here is that we are going on our first ever FAMILY VACATION!! Ryan and I have taken little overnight vacations here and there. We even went to Vegas for a few days earlier this year, but that was for Ryan's brother's wedding. Vacation, yes, but it had an agenda.
We have never taken the kids anywhere for vacation. I guess it's because they are so young that, before, we knew that they wouldn't really enjoy it and/or remember what we were doing. It has to be so incredibly difficult for parents who take their babies places, especially during the summer when it's so hot! I don't know how or why they do it. I'm glad we haven't, though. I mean, the kids are almost 7 and 5, and it almost doesn't seem fair that we haven't taken them out of the state...EVER. But I know my children. They did great when we went to Lawton for Hunter's graduation, and that was kind of a trial run for us. We slept overnight in a hotel, so we got to test the waters a bit to see how they would do. Really it was to see how we all would do. And they absolutely loved it!
We probably picked the worst time to take a vacation to Texas, but it was when Ryan's bid week was, so we wanted to take advantage. He only gets to bid 3 or 4 weeks a year, and summer is almost always taken by the time the bid sheet gets around to him; being so low in seniority will do that to ya. So this year (well, last November-ish) when a week in June was left open, he jumped at the chance. With Alex now in school and Reese starting Pre-K in August, we knew that his week in October would be out as far as taking a family vacation somewhere. I can not justify taking my kids out of school for a vacation. I know that some parents do it, but I will not hinder their education for a trip. There are other times we could go and, to me, school is way more important. Of course, I'm a school nerd and I LOVE(d) school, so I may be biased a bit.
We are taking the kids to Arlington in a week. Well, it's less than a week away. We're leaving on Sunday to go to Ryan's folks' to spend the night, and to break the drive up. I know my kids. 4 1/2 to 5 1/2 hours in a car would never fly. Then we've got it all planned out. We're going to a Texas Rangers game on Monday night and then to Hurricane Harbor on Tuesday. We'll be headed back to Oklahoma on Wednesday, but I'm not sure if we'll stop at Ryan's folks' again or if we'll just try to drive straight through. I know what my choice is, but we'll see when the time actually comes. The kids are so stinkin' excited! They've been telling people for weeks now that we're going to Texas for vacation. I think they're more excited about the idea right now than they are about what we'll actually be doing. They have no idea what's in store for them and I love that!
I can't wait to see their little faces when we're at the Ballpark at Arlington and when we finally get to Hurricane Harbor. I'll post pictures because I know they will be priceless. The McAlister clan is going to have one heck of a vacation, even if it is just for a few days. Remember, my kids are only 6 and 4. Small doses.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Mixed Emotions
My graduation has come and gone. The night itself was quite overwhelming and wonderful and scary and sad all at the same time. How can that be? Well, it just was. It was completely overwhelming for me to actually be crossing that stage, in my college cap and gown, and accepting my diploma (case only) from President Betz. It's something that I always knew I could do, but didn't know if the day would ever come. It was wonderful because I got to graduate with my best friend, Joy. I had never thought about it before, but that was an amazing thing as well. To get to graduate with your best friend? I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. It was scary because I kept thinking to myself, "Are you really doing this?" It was like it was surreal almost. I didn't want to get there and have them say, "Oh, wait. Sorry, you're not graduating." Luckily that didn't happen. I was very sad because this was another chapter that was over. The saddest part of it was that I could have graduated with honors, but because I hadn't focused enough my last two semesters at OU, I wasn't able to bring my GPA up enough to do so. I tried hard, believe me. It just wasn't enough. And it was really embarrassing to me because I knew it could have been done, but I have no one to blame but myself.
It's also what's come, or rather what hasn't come since my graduation that's got me with mixed emotions. Now, I'm not a "gimme presents" type of person. I'd actually prefer to not get presents. But on a day like Monday, one of the biggest days of my life, I would have liked to have some recognition from family members of this monumental accomplishment. There were family members that could have been there that chose not to come. I will never understand that, mostly because there were family members who absolutely couldn't be there but would have if possible. Why didn't you show up? I will never get this day back, and you weren't there to celebrate it with me. It hurts. Seriously. I also have family members who not only didn't come, but haven't even acknowledged that I graduated. Nothing. Not a phone call, not a card in the mail, squat! Something as simple as, "We're really proud of you! We knew it was hard, and we're so happy for you!" would have been enough, honestly. But, nope. I don't get it. What this says to me is that my momentous occasions are nothing. It doesn't matter that I graduated. It's nothing. It's unimportant. And, it wasn't harder for me to do this time around because I have two kids and a husband and one income. At least that's the message this is sending me. I don't want to be selfish, but it would be nice if some recognition was given to me for doing something that about 80% of Oklahomans haven't and will not do. Not important enough, I guess.
The family and friends that I did have there made the night amazing! It was incredible and I'm so lucky to have the support I do. And there were family and friends who couldn't be there that acknowledged what I had accomplished. And I love them dearly for it!
I guess I had higher expectations than I should have. I know there were some people there that didn't have anyone supporting them. But if all I've heard over the last 3 years is, "Just finish. Get that degree. You 'deserve' it," then why wouldn't they come to be a part of something so great? I just don't get it.
It's also what's come, or rather what hasn't come since my graduation that's got me with mixed emotions. Now, I'm not a "gimme presents" type of person. I'd actually prefer to not get presents. But on a day like Monday, one of the biggest days of my life, I would have liked to have some recognition from family members of this monumental accomplishment. There were family members that could have been there that chose not to come. I will never understand that, mostly because there were family members who absolutely couldn't be there but would have if possible. Why didn't you show up? I will never get this day back, and you weren't there to celebrate it with me. It hurts. Seriously. I also have family members who not only didn't come, but haven't even acknowledged that I graduated. Nothing. Not a phone call, not a card in the mail, squat! Something as simple as, "We're really proud of you! We knew it was hard, and we're so happy for you!" would have been enough, honestly. But, nope. I don't get it. What this says to me is that my momentous occasions are nothing. It doesn't matter that I graduated. It's nothing. It's unimportant. And, it wasn't harder for me to do this time around because I have two kids and a husband and one income. At least that's the message this is sending me. I don't want to be selfish, but it would be nice if some recognition was given to me for doing something that about 80% of Oklahomans haven't and will not do. Not important enough, I guess.
The family and friends that I did have there made the night amazing! It was incredible and I'm so lucky to have the support I do. And there were family and friends who couldn't be there that acknowledged what I had accomplished. And I love them dearly for it!
I guess I had higher expectations than I should have. I know there were some people there that didn't have anyone supporting them. But if all I've heard over the last 3 years is, "Just finish. Get that degree. You 'deserve' it," then why wouldn't they come to be a part of something so great? I just don't get it.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Graduation
It has taken me 11 years to get here, but it has been so worth it. Eleven years to graduate college? Yep! I've been to three different schools, but I've finally found my place and my passion. I couldn't be more excited about this!
What changed for me over the past eleven years? For starters...
1. I moved away from home. Home was my safety net. I am extremely close to my parents and to move two and a half hours away from them felt like I was moving across the world. I was fortunate to be close enough to home that I could drive home on the weekends, which I did my first year at OU.
2. I became an adult. I had my first ever birthday away from home while I was at OU and that was very lonely and very exciting all at the same time. I hadn't been there long enough to make friends yet, but I knew that great things were about to come my way. I turned 21 while I was there also. I'm not a drinker, so that birthday was more of a "coming of age" thing for me. I was officially, legally an adult.
3. I joined a new church. It was probably one of the hardest decisions I had to make while "away from home." I debated for months and months. My heart broke as I felt I was leaving my old "family" behind and abandoning them. What I didn't realize was that I was gaining a whole new "family," one that would help mold the person I am today.
4. I met Ryan. What a momentous experience! I knew that God would bring my "one" into my life in His timing. I'm just grateful and quite proud of myself for actually listening when God spoke to me about Ryan. He walked into my life one night in January of 2002 and I was forever changed.
5. I dropped out of school at OU. I became so overwhelmed with what was going on. I was battling depression. Ryan came into my life, and we began dating at a time that was very confusing for me. I didn't really, truly know what I wanted out of life. I knew that he was the one I was supposed to go on this journey with, but I didn't know where the journey would take us. So, the easiest (and probably dumbest) solution for me was to drop out of school. I didn't even think about changing my major, considering that was the source of my confusion.
6. I got pregnant. Way too early. I was not ready to be a mom yet. I felt like Ryan and I were still just getting to know each other. I was acting reckless again, like I'd done just a few years earlier. But the difference this time was that I had a man who was going to stand by my side. I lost some really important people in my life during that time. It was one of the scariest experiences I'd ever been through and I felt like I was doing it all by myself. I did have Ryan, I'll give you that. But again, we were still just getting to know each other. My parents were a hundred miles away. What was I doing? How was I going to get through this?
7. I got married. We did it backwards, I guess you could say. But it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I could not have married a better man. Ryan has helped me grow into the woman I am today. I was still just a kid when we met. I am lucky that God showed me that when you mess up, if you ask for forgiveness, you will be forgiven. And I have been blessed. I have a wonderful husband who takes care of me and loves me no matter what comes in our way.
8. I had a baby. Two. My pregnancy with Alex was a whole new experience for me. I was nervous all the time. I was anxious about every little thing. And then, when I was thirteen weeks along in my pregnancy, I thought I was losing him. It was really scary, but we prayed and prayed and God brought us through it. I have never loved someone so much as I did Alex that day he was born. Or, that's what I thought until Miss Reese came along. How can you love someone so much and give them your WHOLE heart, and then are able to do the same thing all over again with another person? I'll never be able to explain it, but I know it to be true.
9. We moved. Ryan and I have lived in, let's see now...6 different places since we got married. SIX?!? We never lived anywhere for more than eight months until we got to Owasso. We lived in our apartment for 2 years and we've now been in our house for a little over 2 years. And we will move again in a few years, but we're hoping that will be our last. It will be when we actually buy a house. So, I'm hoping we pick a winner and stick with it. :-)
10. I went back to school. Somewhere along the way I did take a few classes at TCC, but I officially went back to school in August of 2007. I was nervous about it. I thought to myself, "What if it's just like the last time? What if I don't really belong here? What if I'm not cut out for college?" But I wanted to give it a try. And I'm so glad that I did. It took me longer to finish because I only went part-time, but I actually am finishing ahead of where I thought I would. The one disappointing thing about all this is that I did so well while at NSU that I could have been graduating with honors. Why am I not? Because of all my "soul searching" that I did my last few semesters at OU. They really cost me. And I have no one to blame but myself. But I will choose to look at it this way: I did it. I went back and finished and got my Bachelor's degree. And I did it for me. I didn't do this because I thought I owed it to my parents. I didn't do it because I wanted to get a better job. I did it because I knew I had the potential and the capability and I wanted my degree. I deserve it.
I have been through and done a lot in the past eleven years. I am sure there is a lot that I am leaving out, but these things seem like the most important. I have learned who I can really depend on when the chips are down. I know how to make $40 stretch into two weeks worth of groceries. I know that my kids will always know that their Momma loves them even if she doesn't feel like she shows it enough. And I have learned to take things slowly and carefully because if I rush, I usually end up disappointing myself and others.
Have I mentioned how proud I am of myself for finishing? I DID IT!!!!
What changed for me over the past eleven years? For starters...
1. I moved away from home. Home was my safety net. I am extremely close to my parents and to move two and a half hours away from them felt like I was moving across the world. I was fortunate to be close enough to home that I could drive home on the weekends, which I did my first year at OU.
2. I became an adult. I had my first ever birthday away from home while I was at OU and that was very lonely and very exciting all at the same time. I hadn't been there long enough to make friends yet, but I knew that great things were about to come my way. I turned 21 while I was there also. I'm not a drinker, so that birthday was more of a "coming of age" thing for me. I was officially, legally an adult.
3. I joined a new church. It was probably one of the hardest decisions I had to make while "away from home." I debated for months and months. My heart broke as I felt I was leaving my old "family" behind and abandoning them. What I didn't realize was that I was gaining a whole new "family," one that would help mold the person I am today.
4. I met Ryan. What a momentous experience! I knew that God would bring my "one" into my life in His timing. I'm just grateful and quite proud of myself for actually listening when God spoke to me about Ryan. He walked into my life one night in January of 2002 and I was forever changed.
5. I dropped out of school at OU. I became so overwhelmed with what was going on. I was battling depression. Ryan came into my life, and we began dating at a time that was very confusing for me. I didn't really, truly know what I wanted out of life. I knew that he was the one I was supposed to go on this journey with, but I didn't know where the journey would take us. So, the easiest (and probably dumbest) solution for me was to drop out of school. I didn't even think about changing my major, considering that was the source of my confusion.
6. I got pregnant. Way too early. I was not ready to be a mom yet. I felt like Ryan and I were still just getting to know each other. I was acting reckless again, like I'd done just a few years earlier. But the difference this time was that I had a man who was going to stand by my side. I lost some really important people in my life during that time. It was one of the scariest experiences I'd ever been through and I felt like I was doing it all by myself. I did have Ryan, I'll give you that. But again, we were still just getting to know each other. My parents were a hundred miles away. What was I doing? How was I going to get through this?
7. I got married. We did it backwards, I guess you could say. But it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I could not have married a better man. Ryan has helped me grow into the woman I am today. I was still just a kid when we met. I am lucky that God showed me that when you mess up, if you ask for forgiveness, you will be forgiven. And I have been blessed. I have a wonderful husband who takes care of me and loves me no matter what comes in our way.
8. I had a baby. Two. My pregnancy with Alex was a whole new experience for me. I was nervous all the time. I was anxious about every little thing. And then, when I was thirteen weeks along in my pregnancy, I thought I was losing him. It was really scary, but we prayed and prayed and God brought us through it. I have never loved someone so much as I did Alex that day he was born. Or, that's what I thought until Miss Reese came along. How can you love someone so much and give them your WHOLE heart, and then are able to do the same thing all over again with another person? I'll never be able to explain it, but I know it to be true.
9. We moved. Ryan and I have lived in, let's see now...6 different places since we got married. SIX?!? We never lived anywhere for more than eight months until we got to Owasso. We lived in our apartment for 2 years and we've now been in our house for a little over 2 years. And we will move again in a few years, but we're hoping that will be our last. It will be when we actually buy a house. So, I'm hoping we pick a winner and stick with it. :-)
10. I went back to school. Somewhere along the way I did take a few classes at TCC, but I officially went back to school in August of 2007. I was nervous about it. I thought to myself, "What if it's just like the last time? What if I don't really belong here? What if I'm not cut out for college?" But I wanted to give it a try. And I'm so glad that I did. It took me longer to finish because I only went part-time, but I actually am finishing ahead of where I thought I would. The one disappointing thing about all this is that I did so well while at NSU that I could have been graduating with honors. Why am I not? Because of all my "soul searching" that I did my last few semesters at OU. They really cost me. And I have no one to blame but myself. But I will choose to look at it this way: I did it. I went back and finished and got my Bachelor's degree. And I did it for me. I didn't do this because I thought I owed it to my parents. I didn't do it because I wanted to get a better job. I did it because I knew I had the potential and the capability and I wanted my degree. I deserve it.
I have been through and done a lot in the past eleven years. I am sure there is a lot that I am leaving out, but these things seem like the most important. I have learned who I can really depend on when the chips are down. I know how to make $40 stretch into two weeks worth of groceries. I know that my kids will always know that their Momma loves them even if she doesn't feel like she shows it enough. And I have learned to take things slowly and carefully because if I rush, I usually end up disappointing myself and others.
Have I mentioned how proud I am of myself for finishing? I DID IT!!!!
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