I have been in a funk lately, and I can't seem to get out of it completely. My own thoughts of insecurity and inadequacy have been creeping back in. I have a lot of great things going for me, but those negative thoughts seem to scream louder than all the positivity in the world ever could.
It's really frustrating. I try not to be Negative Nelly all the time. I make a concerted effort to hide a lot of the physical and emotional pain if and when I experience it. I have been guilty of getting in a rut and it seeming like everything is going wrong with my life. Nobody wants to be friends with Debbie Downer. Nobody wants to hang out with that person who has nothing nice to say. But, do you really want to be friends with Fake Franny, either? Do you want to be friends with the girl who is smiling through the pain, or who is faking it until she makes it? Do you want a half-hearted friendship with someone?
I don't want to have friends like that, let alone actually BE that person. So, what do I typically do? I seclude myself. I shut myself off from those around me who seem to have it all in check. I go into my hidey-hole and wait until the sun starts to shine again. I know I'm doing it. I know how to get out of it. It's just hard.
As a piece of advice to others, though, something that doesn't help is constant criticism from loved ones, or from anyone really. If someone posts something on Facebook that might seem sad or depressing or negative, what will NOT help them out of their funk is to point directly at the negativity. It does NOT help to tell someone to snap out of it, or to be critical of them. It does NOT help to be insensitive to things that you do not understand. It does NOT help to be judgmental of someone else's life when you are sitting behind your computer.
What DOES help is picking up the phone and calling every once in awhile. Check on them. See if things are okay, or offer anything to help make things easier. If you notice a somewhat sad or depressing post on Facebook, how about sending them a private message with your concerns? Instead of nitpicking, why not praise the good you do see in their life? Instead of making fun of someone's situation or trying to "joke" about what you have no idea about, or really don't care about, how about saying NOTHING at all? It is far better to silence your critical tongue than to take back something hurtful.
I'm not speaking to others while excluding myself here, either. I have been guilty of all of these. I hope that when/if I've been this way that I could be forgiven for being less than what that person deserves in a friend.
I will come out of my funk. I think a lot of it has to do with the kids starting school in a week. I know that it means that my days will be different. It means that I will have to buckle down and finish my thesis. It means that my time will be stretched thin. It means that I will feel those inadequate feelings and guilty feelings again for not being 100% everything to everyone. But, I will also soon see pictures that my daughter has drawn just for me while she was at school. I will see the amazing grades that my son will bring home after having accomplished something new. I will see their smiling faces on the sidelines of the football field, and the basketball court, and whatever other extra-curricular activity they choose. And I will be beaming with pride.
For now, I'm just trying to get by and do it all the best that I can. But, I will ask one thing from whoever decides to read this. If you have something hurtful, distasteful, or negative to say to me, please think twice before calling, writing, or texting your comments to me. I am definitely going through a lot right now. Maybe it's an early mid-life crisis. I don't know. But, I don't need judgment, criticism, or hateful comments right now. What I will welcome with open arms are words of encouragement, love, funny stories about your kids or family, scripture, etc., as long as it comes from a place of positivity and thoughtfulness.
That's all.
Thanks, in advance!
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